by Ella Maas

This summer I worked at an ice cream shop. From the outside, it looks like an easy job: scoop, smile, repeat. But the truth? Ice cream was just the backdrop. The real drama came from the customers. Here are the top five things I learned.

1. Pain pays

Nothing earns sympathy (and tips) like visible suffering. Once I slipped on a freshly mopped floor and landed flat on my back. Customers gasped, then reached for their wallets. Another time, a root beer exploded all over me. Yes, it was gross and sticky… but it was also profitable. Even when I banged my head on the freezer door, I left with extra dollar bills. The one thing people wanted more than ice cream was to watch their server fall on their butt.

2. The power of the waiting stare

Forget what anyone tells you about customer service. The best way to earn tips is to simply… stand there. When someone’s paying, I wait silently, ice cream scoop in hand, eyes fixed. Not in a mean way just in a waiting way. Within seconds, they fidget, panic, and tip me to make the awkwardness end. Then I’ll throw on a smile and tell them to have an “amazing day!”

3. The customer is always right—even when they’re wrong

One man asked for free water. Problem: we didn’t have cups. Solution: I told him he could buy a bottled one, but also generously offered to pour some into a tiny ice cream cup. He thought it was ridiculous, laughed, and bought bottled water instead. Then, he tipped me for “trying.”

4. Boys, who?

When a couple comes in, strategy is key. Be extra nice to the girl and ignore the boy. Trust me: nothing kills the vibe (or the tip) like chatting with someone’s boyfriend. I like to compliment the girl’s outfit, joke about her ice cream choice, and hand her the cone with a smile. Meanwhile, the guy could be juggling flaming waffle cones in the corner, and I’d pretend not to notice.

5. Moonwalking drunks deserve free ice cream

Late one night, a man stumbled in, declared he was Michael Jackson, and moonwalked across the sticky tiles while singing “Thriller.” Did I give him free ice cream? Absolutely. Did I get a tip? Nope. But some performances are priceless.

Life really is like ice cream: sticky, unpredictable, and best enjoyed with a tip jar nearby.

eggicon | The Leghorn

Ella Maas is a high school writer and photographer from Washington, D.C. Her work explores the humor and absurdity of everyday experiences. Support this writer.

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